Go or not go

This is the thing perplexing me. Grace doesn't totally have a summer birthday. It's the end of May. But her Prek teachers have had some worries about her speech and her hand strength. So we heeded the advice, had her tested 3 times and she finally met criteria for therapy and started in January. She does very well with therapy. I think she likes it and works hard with the therapists. In her fall Prek conference it seemed like socially she was doing fine and with math she was doing well. She seems to not be interested in letters so we have been hitting those hard. I feel frustrated. I want to send her. She knows she could go. The advice is to wait and give her a year to learn. They say it will help her be a leader and make better choices. So maybe it will. I wouldn't mind another year home with her. I just want to make the best decision for her. 

It makes me think of when we had to pick her  birthday. I debated over and over. I wanted to give her until close to her due date. But Friday, May 27th was 38+6 and was the Friday of memorial weekend which meant an extra day off for Robb and my mom who would be taking care of Max while we were in the hospital. Logically it made sense but I wanted to wait and give her time. Now with her speech etc I think about how the decision then might have impacted her. I don't want to do wrong by her again. The maternal guilt can hit you hard. And trust me, I know we have 3 healthy babies who are all just perfect. We by no means have it rough. I just want the best for her and wish it wasn't a decision I would make that could impact her life long again. 

I also struggle with not knowing the answers to will she be bored if she stays in Prek another year? Is she ready for kindergarten? I have no clue. She's different with us then in the classroom. I know she doesn't know everything but she knows a lot. I know she can be shy but not always. I know we have had swim lessons where she went in once out of the 8 days and then went right into to the classroom her first day of Prek no looking back, no tears. I know she is smart. I know she wants to go. I fear she may need lots of tutoring if she goes this year. But whose to say she won't even if we wait? 

And just to throw it out there she's off the charts tall. If we wait she will be dealing with the height thing even more than if we send her this year. 

If you have advice, I'm all ears! I feel like we have heard the whole gamut. Prayers are welcome!