This blog is two fold: to remember our family vacations ( which I am managing to complete 2/3 of each trip) and to remember the little day to day things that Max does and pregnancy-wise what happens when. I thought I would remember those things but I don't. Like last week I went in to have labs drawn and of course my little buddy came with. He played with his cars and ate snacks but when it came time to draw labs his focus was on me.. Max noticed the needle go into my arm and he repeated "doing?" I had never heard him say that before. He hears and sees everything. I knew that but it never ceases to amaze me.
This week I was in the bathroom hand washing some things and went out to hang them up.. usually Max follows me out but he stayed behind so I went to look for him and he found the toliet cleaning brush and opened the toliet up and was "cleaning". It was so cute I had to take a picture.
Just today he found my flipflops on the floor and decided to try them on and see if he could walk. It was hilarious watching those wheels spin trying to make it work. When he managed to take a few steps, he beamed. I love it. What a great kid.
Max's recongition is really starting to show, too. When I say we are going to nana's house he says "swimmin". He has only been in their pool once, but he remembered it.
I feel so blessed that I get so much time to spend with him. I am in awe of the human body and the learning process' of a infant/toddler. It is phenomenal. When do they think of these things to try. When did he learn that word. I tried teaching him a few signs when he was a baby to help us communicate. "more" was one he knows well. With spring upon us we have been out cutting the grass and our neighbors, too. if you know Max you know that he loves wheels. Tires, fans, anything that is a circle, really. So, the lawn mower is a new favorite. He kept trying to tell me "more" in sign language and pointing to outside, so I thought he just wanted to be outside to play.. but he was interchanging "more" and 'mower'. Guess I need to enuciate. Now he says lawn mower, which is a pretty big word or phrase. But he will still sign "more" when he says lawn mower. I love learning. It's so cool.
As, for me. I am still waiting. I hadn't been to work in four days until yesterday. Coming back was hard. I'm not sure if its working with pregnant women and babies or just working with such caring women but I get emotional being here. I have decided that if I don't "do" anything natually by next Friday I will most likely have a D&C then. I just want to get on with it. I hope that doesn't sound terrible. Waiting it out while knowing that its not a fruitful pregnancy is hard, emotionally. I saw my doctor at work yesterday and was able to discuss more with him. The phrase "next time" got me a wee bit emotional. It's hard to think about next time but I know life goes on. I do have to say that this time isn't as hard as the losses before Max. My hypothesis is if no one else, I have Max. Before it was hard to have that innate drive to motherhood and not know if it was in His plan. We definitely want more babies and I loved being pregnant with Max. I will mourn not having that extra special Christmas present this year and Tuesday's will be a reminder but it just wasn't meant to be. I love the baby and am glad to know that God will be the "parent" the baby will know.
My type A plan (yes a plan, but I am understanding that plans change) is to have a great summer not nursing or being pregnant (its been 4 years since I have had a summer like that). I can rollerblade, bike, have an adult beverage, most importantly get this body back in shape.. then I think I might be ready to try again.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Catching up
So today is May 23rd. Max was born a year and a half ago already! Most days go by and I spend time thinking what I would write if I did a blog entry, so today I thought I should do it instead of just thinking about it. This has been a big and unusual week for the inhabitants of the Akerson Book nook. Monday was Max and my last day of ECFE, he was really changed quite a bit since we started the class. He talks 100 times more and he loves to watch what the other kids and teachers are doing. I think it was a good thing to do and will probably do another class in the fall, much to the chagrin of the teachers from the spring class, who would like to see Max take summer classes!
Then Wednesday was the day of the big MNA vote to strike or not down in St Paul. Luckily, I found a spot in a meter ran in, cast my vote and was outta there in 10 minutes. But that night we found out 9000 nurses voted and 90% voted to strike. That is overwhelming.
Thursday, Max and I had a fun day out for a walk with a few stops for park visits then we went to watch Robb play softball. His team won both games.. While there I started to bleed a bit. Being 9.5 weeks pregnant that is not a good thing. But, that is a norm for my pregnancies. I bled at least four times during my pregnancy with Max. So we went home and took it easy and it seemed to slow down. Friday morning I was scheduled to work my first twelve hour shift. It was going pretty well until about 1pm. I noticed the bleeding was picking up a bit. Luckily I work with people who have connections and in the same relative area as my doctor. He was nice enough to encourage me to rest that night and said he would have me come in the next morning for an ultrasound. So, I went home went straight to bed and took in plenty of fluids. Just as the MD ordered...
Saturday AM I wrestled with the idea of going in for the ultrasound but the advice that "knowing what is happening" is peace of mind won out. There was a wonderful thunderstorm as we drove down to Eden Prairie. Foreshadowing??? The results of the ultrasound were not favorable and our hopes for an extra special Christmas present were dashed ( our due date was 12-21-10). It was so nice of my doctor to take time to meet us on a Saturday to help give us some answers. And it was wonderful that Robb could express that to him, since I was unable at that point. After that we had to proceed on with our day... That was a difficult feat, but we had a wedding to attend. We had already made the tough decision to forego the wedding to have the ultrasound so we had to book it up to Brainerd to make the wedding reception. We are so glad we did it was so great to see old friends and catch up a bit with them. And beside to see Spence and Jen all gussied up on their big day was priceless. It's fun to know both the bride and groom individually before they get together. They make an awesome couple. We were lucky enough to have Robb's parents near by to watch Max for a few hours so we could talk with out interruptions. We had to head out to exchange cars with them and head home about 930 pm so we were party poopers. It was nice to have the time to drive and talk about our day. It will take some time to digest the day's events. And we will now play the waiting game for things to happen physically. I am hoping to not need a D&C.
Today is Sunday and we are taking it easy today. Max is watching Cars for the thousandth time and I got a nap in already. It think it's time for Max's nap now. But that's the scoop from here.
Then Wednesday was the day of the big MNA vote to strike or not down in St Paul. Luckily, I found a spot in a meter ran in, cast my vote and was outta there in 10 minutes. But that night we found out 9000 nurses voted and 90% voted to strike. That is overwhelming.
Thursday, Max and I had a fun day out for a walk with a few stops for park visits then we went to watch Robb play softball. His team won both games.. While there I started to bleed a bit. Being 9.5 weeks pregnant that is not a good thing. But, that is a norm for my pregnancies. I bled at least four times during my pregnancy with Max. So we went home and took it easy and it seemed to slow down. Friday morning I was scheduled to work my first twelve hour shift. It was going pretty well until about 1pm. I noticed the bleeding was picking up a bit. Luckily I work with people who have connections and in the same relative area as my doctor. He was nice enough to encourage me to rest that night and said he would have me come in the next morning for an ultrasound. So, I went home went straight to bed and took in plenty of fluids. Just as the MD ordered...
Saturday AM I wrestled with the idea of going in for the ultrasound but the advice that "knowing what is happening" is peace of mind won out. There was a wonderful thunderstorm as we drove down to Eden Prairie. Foreshadowing??? The results of the ultrasound were not favorable and our hopes for an extra special Christmas present were dashed ( our due date was 12-21-10). It was so nice of my doctor to take time to meet us on a Saturday to help give us some answers. And it was wonderful that Robb could express that to him, since I was unable at that point. After that we had to proceed on with our day... That was a difficult feat, but we had a wedding to attend. We had already made the tough decision to forego the wedding to have the ultrasound so we had to book it up to Brainerd to make the wedding reception. We are so glad we did it was so great to see old friends and catch up a bit with them. And beside to see Spence and Jen all gussied up on their big day was priceless. It's fun to know both the bride and groom individually before they get together. They make an awesome couple. We were lucky enough to have Robb's parents near by to watch Max for a few hours so we could talk with out interruptions. We had to head out to exchange cars with them and head home about 930 pm so we were party poopers. It was nice to have the time to drive and talk about our day. It will take some time to digest the day's events. And we will now play the waiting game for things to happen physically. I am hoping to not need a D&C.
Today is Sunday and we are taking it easy today. Max is watching Cars for the thousandth time and I got a nap in already. It think it's time for Max's nap now. But that's the scoop from here.
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